Well, time to get this review over with I guess. I put off even watching this episode until Thursday evening because I genuinely had no desire to relive this weird, yet somehow extremely boring episode. But I forced myself to get through “Gender Bender”, so I can make it through this one!
This is, to put it simply, not a good episode. It’s at least not necessarily offensive in any way as “Space” and “Gender Bender” (🤮) were from last season. I mean, all things considered, the topics of porphyria and “blood fetishes”, though mentioned largely briefly, are treated with respect. And, by some miracle, the episode doesn’t really draw on vampire myths in a way that would be offensive, either. (Note: A later episode this season does treat Roma beliefs in a very…not nice way)
Rather, somehow, this episode just manages to be extremely boring. It feels like nothing at all really happens plot wise. And random sex scenes are inserted but they feel very awkward because, clearly, the higher ups at Fox were not comfortable truly discussing the “sexual” aspect of this storyline. PLUS, we barely even mention Scully’s absence. Sure, at the beginning Mulder puts her personal “X-file” away and he is wearing her necklace throughout the episode but it just feels like a complete throw away part of the episode, when it should be more in the forefront?
Only slightly redeeming parts of this episode are that it has a couple amusing lines/banter, and that Mulder does solve the case, in a way clearly no one else was going to approach it.
But, don’t expect this review to be terribly long. Yes, I know I’ve said that before, but genuinely this episode doesn’t have much substance to comment on, so I really don’t think it will be too long.
So. Let’s get through it, so we can get back to the real stories next week.
Reopening the “X-files” unit
Just a short note here to start. We learn that the unit has been closed for ~6 months, as Mulder flips his (“sexy”) calendar from May to November.
We also learn that apparently the FBI didn’t care enough to destroy the files or move them somewhere else, but someone (probably a kind person from the custodial staff) at the FBI at least had the foresight to cover the entire office with dust covers. How…thoughtful?
I guess I’m not actually surprised they didn’t destroy or move the files. Destroying would’ve been a bad idea, as they are still like, government property, and some of those are important cases that have been solved! But also, no one could be bothered to move the files elsewhere. No one has time for that.
I am a little bit curious how they kept Mulder and Scully out of this office for 6 months. Did they…change the locks on the door? Take Mulder and Scully’s keys to the office from them? Because otherwise it really doesn’t seem like there was much keeping either of them from accessing the files during those 6 months…just wander on down to the basement and remove the dust covers.
The Case: The “Holy Trinity”
In summary, the case is this: a group of 3 killers has apparently been travelling the country committing very…graphic murders. They appear to have a pattern of killing every 3 months, and they kill three specific people in each city before moving on.
(Note: I’m actually not 100% clear on the “killing every 3 months thing”. Mulder directly states that the killings in Memphis were 3 months ago, and it goes with the “Holy Trinity” thing, so I’m taking it. Also killing every 3 months, and then moving, would make this group harder to track, though still leaving behind a clear pattern for Mulder to find)
First, someone who is a father, either in a family sense or a “father” (priest) of the church. Second, a “son”, although this doesn’t need to be in the literal sense either, as in Portland they killed a woman with the last name “sun” and here in LA they kill the man who…works at a restaurant called “Ra” (the sun)? Finally, they kill someone they consider the “Holy Spirit”, which they seem to interpret quite simply as anyone who firmly believes in something—a new age believer, a Jesuit theologian, and…Mulder would’ve been the last victim in LA.
(Side notes on the restaurant murder: 1) Did Mulder actually somehow follow Kristen to that place, or did he just…happen upon that restaurant by luck? Unclear. 2) Grosssssssss, they’re having sex in what appears to be a restaurant kitchen?!?! I’m also unclear if Kristen and the guy who was murdered were actually drinking each other’s blood, or if they were just using the raspberry sauce, orrrrrrrrrrr both? It’s gross either way though.)
These 3 people apparently have an insatiable need for blood, and whenever they commit a murder, they bite the victim and directly suck blood from their necks and inner elbow. But, these killers are apparently smart enough to realize that they can’t just kill continuously and not get caught, so they also obtain blood in other ways. They don’t drink all of the victims’ blood immediately, but use needles to remove and store the rest (🤮). And, at least one of the three also takes up a night job at a blood bank in the city, and they also steal blood for drinking from there (🤮).
I will note here that it feels interesting to me that they (apparently) only murder every 3 months, and find blood from other sources at other times. Sure, this could be the “Holy Trinity” belief the killers seem to hold, but why 3 months rather than every 3 weeks, or every 3 days? Either of the latter would likely lead them to getting caught more quickly, but it doesn’t really seem like at least one of the killers is terribly concerned about that, as he has the “perfect” defense:
When a snake eats a fly, it’s not murder. It just is.
These three people need to drink blood to stay alive (and live forever). And apparently if it’s a “need”, it’s not murder?
Sooooooooo then why do they seem to care so much about covering up their tracks and moving around? Well, at least part of the answer appears to be:
Kristen Kilar
OK, I will admit that when Mulder first met Kristen in that weird club, I definitely thought she was one of the 3 “vampire murderers”. Even as I simultaneously was thinking “that doesn’t look or sound like the woman from the opening awkward sex scene with the old guy”.
To my credit, it is hard to understand any other reason someone would openly admit to having a blood fetish, though rationally I know that fetish does actually exist. And also to my credit, the other police officers also thought Kristen was one of the “vampire murderers”.
But, to Mulder’s credit, he figured it out!!! Kristen is not one of the three killers. Rather, she is someone that the group appears to be tracking and trying to bring into the fold. Meaning, either bring her into their cult or…turn her into a “real” vampire?
Kristen met one of the three “vampire murderers” (John/“The Son”) and was involved in an unhealthy relationship with him. Unhealthy in that he was seemingly just as abusive as her father, but I will note that their “blood sports” as Kristen calls them were not necessarily unhealthy in and of themselves, as both of them were consenting at first. I mean, sure, for Kristen the apparent enjoyment came out of a feeling from her childhood, when her father violently beat her and the only way she knew she was alive was because she could still taste her own blood. But, uh, while Kristen most definitely needs therapy, engaging in consensual “blood sports” in and of itself with a partner isn’t unhealthy.
Until “The Son” tried to bring two other people into their “blood sports”. And the three of them seemingly made the er…fun play into something much more violent and unpleasant.
One thing I’ll note here is that I’m not really clear on why the group of three (“The Father”, “The Son”, and “The Holy Spirit”) seemed to so desperately want to bring Kristen into the fold? If they perceive themselves as some sort of “Holy Trinity” as Mulder believes (and as their murder pattern does seem to suggest), what would be the reason for bringing in a fourth person? “The Son” probably wants to “turn” Kristen because he believes he either loves her or owns her, and wants them together for eternity. But…why would the other two agree to bring in a 4th person if the “trinity” thing is seemingly so important to their existence?
Vampires…or a Cult?
Right, let’s try to address this now: Are these murderers actual vampires (as in, they are genuinely immortal except for a few very specific death methods and really need to drink blood), or are they all delusional and are just members of a very weird and dangerous (and small) cult?
Annoyingly, we don’t really get an answer to this, though I suppose that by itself isn’t unusual for an episode of The X-Files. I was definitely more annoyed by it here, I think because the episode felt like it was trying to spin the events both ways, without fully committing to either possibility.
It is interesting that Mulder, at first, firmly believes that the “vampire murderers” are just a group of very delusional people, possibly belonging to a larger cult. Mulder, you are so willing to believe in aliens, werewolves, and 100+ year old liver-eating mutants, but you “had dismissed the possibility of the actual existence of such a creature [a vampire] as myth”? Why, exactly? Why are vampires apparently the creature you can’t believe in?
Now, lending credence to the “maybe they’re really vampires” theory is the fact that “The Son” is apparently fried to death when sunlight comes into contact with his body in that holding cell and he apparently comes back to life after that. That first event certainly seems to convince Mulder that the group might actually be supernatural creatures. But, uh, if we are following vampire myths, and there are only a few ways to definitely kill a vampire…sunlight exposure is supposed to be one of those things? Soooooooooo how does “The Son” come back to life?
Overall, I feel like this is really where the episode falls flat. It really could have been interesting to delve into the “cult or vampires” storyline more. Particularly the psychological aspects—what is leading these people to commit murders, and why are all of them so intent on following and “turning” Kristen? Kristen’s own trauma is mentioned almost offhand as the reason why she got involved initially in the group, but then Mulder like…doesn’t even address it at all?
I just…I dunno. It somehow felt like this episode almost had zero plot. We barely explore the murders or the murderers, we only scratch the surface of the psychology behind this “blood fetish” behaviour, and the sexual tension of it all is trying to be at play, but ends up just being very awkward because the higher ups at Fox weren’t comfortable showing anything more than they did.
Mulder has sex with a vampire (?)
Except, they were OK with at least quite heavily implying that Mulder had sex with Kristen.
Ugh. Whyyyyyyyyyyy? Why in this episode of all episodes?
Like, OK, it certainly isn’t unusual for Mulder to be overly flirty and weird with women on other cases, so his apparent attraction to Kristen isn’t out of character. And, I will grant that I am aware people do all sorts of weird shit when they are grieving, as Mulder is grieving the loss of Scully. I don’t have any personal experience with exactly this (I’m asexual, I genuinely have no comprehension of any “physical feelings” Mulder may be having here), but I can still understand that someone might do something they wouldn’t otherwise do (…have sex with someone you claim to be protecting while wearing the cross necklace of someone you just lost) while in the mental state Mulder must be in right now.
But, while I can somewhat rationalize Mulder’s actions, I still don’t have to like that it was included!
And, I just again want to note that I think the whole attraction and sex scene felt worse because it was all just so awkward. It either needed to not at all be included or the sexual tension and blood fetish stuff needed to be explored wayyyyyyyy more. Personally, I would opt for the former, both because Fox never would’ve allowed the latter to happen, and also because I really don’t think the writers knew how to approach “supernatural sex” in a good way, if “Gender Bender” was anything to go by…
Scully’s absence
Welp, the writers barely address this, but I’m going to include at least a short section here.
Scully is missing, and Mulder is an FBI agent without a partner again ☹️
We learn that Scully has her own official “X file” at the FBI, so her case is still being investigated. Mulder wears Scully’s cross necklace throughout the episode, and he does also vaguely mention that he “lost someone” to Kristen (…before he has sex with her)
But other than that…Scully is basically a ghost. No discussion of how her case is being investigated, no actual mention even of her name out loud by anyone. She’s just…not around.
I’ve already made it fairly clear that I dislike this episode very much, soooooo I will say here that, personally, I would’ve completely done away with this script and instead had the interlude episode be some sort of case that could be connected to Scully’s disappearance. Heck, even Samantha’s disappearance, so there could be a greater focus on Mulder’s grief over losing two people very close to him. Doesn’t have to be aliens, could be some “monster-of-the-week” episode involving mysteriously disappearing people, Mulder goes to investigate, loses his mind…gets a call at the end about there being possible news about Scully?
Just some thoughts. Because this episode of all episodes as the intervening episode between losing Scully and getting her back feels very, very wrong.
The X-Files is a comedy
Mercifully, this largely very boring episode, which is also filled with a depressed, sad puppy Mulder, does have some amusing banter included.
So, enjoy a couple moments:
Mulder makes fun of megachurch preachers.
No, actually, Mulder would not like to live forever
especially not without his ScullyVampire jokes!
Mulder knows magic?
Our “Completely Platonic Coworkers”
Well, Scully is gone 😭 so there’s no direct interaction. Instead, Mulder has weird (grief-induced) sex with either a vampire or a severely emotionally damaged woman with a blood fetish. While he claims he is just in her house to “protect her”. 🥴
Anyway, have some broody Mulder wearing Scully’s cross necklace.
The 90s™
All I’ve got is that Mulder once again has to scour a phone book to find the numbers of all the blood banks in the areas. And phone books aren’t even necessarily a “90s” thing. I remember phone books and school directory lists from the mid 2000s.
But it is still a bit amusing. Although in this case, helpful I guess because Mulder can cross each name off; if he was using an internet search like he would today he’d need to write down each name and then cross it off 😉
Goofs/Bloopers/Fun Facts
Well, I’d argue this entire episode is a goof. There were many directions they could’ve gone to make this episode more interesting (actually use the “sexual tension”, delve into the psychology, delve into the trauma more…) but they didn’t. So this episode just sits as the awkward interlude between losing Scully and getting her back, and I think most people probably skip this episode.
But, here, have a bit more focused collection, a mix of goofs and fun facts + one funny blooper:
Why does Mulder use the fake first name “Marty” but still uses his last name when calling all those blood banks? Genuinely doesn’t seem like any of the receptionists seem to care about giving away employee information to a rando on the phone, so either go all in with the fake name or use your actual name. Maybe he’s still embarrassed by “Fox”?
Why were they just doing the examination of the body on the floor of that holding cell…? I mean, sure, do some initial notes of the body’s placement and condition, but uh…doesn’t that police station have an autopsy room or something? Scully would be SCREAMING at this coroner just starting to remove body pieces at the scene
Just a note that the chances of someone contracting HIV/AIDS through drinking blood is…very small. Unless you have open sores/cuts in your mouth, it’s not going to happen. The virus will be destroyed in the stomach. Now, I’m not condoning drinking someone else’s blood because of this but just. Again, Scully would’ve rolled her eyes at Mulder saying that probably.
Pretty sure that gasoline won’t explode once it’s no longer in a sealed container? Pouring gasoline all over the house certainly would’ve made the house go up in flames very fast and very hot, but it shouldn’t have exploded.
The bible verse Mulder quotes is actually John 6:54 (I’m told—by the internet—John only has 21 verses, not 52). Though, this could be explained by the “Holy Trinity” not understanding/reading the Bible.
Amusing, to me: Mulder, what happened to your giant flashlight? Would it not fit on the plane? You’re stuck with this tiny one?
The actor who played the coroner has already appeared (as a different character) in one episode—he was Dr. Berube in “The Erlenmeyer Flask”. We’ll see him again as yet another different character next season.
David Duchovny was dating Perrey Reeves, the actress who plays Kristen Kilar.
"Club Tepes" is named for Prince Vlad Tepes (the Impaler), the inspiration for Dracula.
Finally, have a slightly amusing blooper (from this video)
Overall Thoughts/Summary
Episode rating: 2/10. It doesn’t feel quite as bad as “Gender Bender”, but definitely on par with “Space”, though for different reasons. The episode just really felt like it barely had a plot, and the included sex scenes were just very awkward. Like, all of the acting felt awkward except for the few moments of amusing banter, which are kind of the only redeeming part of this episode. That, and the fact that Mulder did at least solve this case.
X-files cases “solved” to date: Well, I do at least have to hand it to Mulder that he solved the case. He figured out that Kristen wasn’t actually a “vampire” (or a cult member?), but rather she was the one they were trying to track down (and force to join their cult/become a “vampire”?) Sure, seems like everyone died in the end, cult members/vampire and Karen, but well, at the very least doesn’t seem like these guys will be murdering anymore? Unless they really can come back from the dead?
5/7 cases solved for the season, 25/31 total.
Well. Thankfully next week we are back to the mythology with what I remember being a very good episode, “One Breath”.
And hopefully I never again force myself to watch this one. Buffy and Angel are where I get my mostly good vampire stories.